April 16
Roger: Good morning my friend!
ME good morning.
R: no no need to travel with me today, we can just chat here on the couch, no?
M: yes we can just stay here.
R: What is the want for today?
M: I don't have a want, I just want guidance and help.
R: of course my friend. How can I help?
M: I guess its time to try to reach my mom. I want to see her. and talk to her, but my sister says she is too far away. Can you hear her? Can you talk to her?
R: yes, I can hear her, and talk to her.
M: Ok, so what do I do now?
R: well what do you want from her? Do you have questions?
M: I want to hear her like I hear you.
R: remember how quiet I was at first? Laura was able to give you access to hear me. We will need to travel, but not today. Please think of a couple of questions or things you want to say. It will help when we get there. We will work on bringing your mom closer over the course of the next year.
M: Why so much time?
R: Your mom is planning on taking a seat at the table. We need to prepare accordingly. This next year will have many exciting things. We need to start writing them. and not like *motions to the page* like this. but in many ways. Photos, on paper, in front of others, and fiction non fiction, and travel writing.
M: well this is exciting, what if don't do it right?
R: the exciting things will happen regardless. it will just be you choosing to participate or not.
M: What first?
R: lol, you heard the answer before you could even type it. He laughed out loud
M: ok so health and exercise?
R: and active participation in all of the things.
M: ok, I will start doing the exercises that my mom used to do every day. as a start. and I have everything to start a diet.
R: remember not a diet, new chapter, new life, new plan, different timeline. Your mom is no longer on this current timeline. At all. You will need to be actively in the new timeline to truly connect with her.
M: ok new healthy eating plan. New life plan. How often should I check in? Should I always type our conversations?
R: yes, it is important to have ALL of the dialogue documented to review at later times. You always wanted a Mildred. Plus you will hopefully get better at typing...lol
M: true, ok I will find the exercise list and review the new eating healthy plan. Can I have a bagel today though?
R: lol, I am not your boss.
M: What is coming up about my sister? If I did not call her 3 times a week for last 2 years would we have the relationship we do? Is it real? Why does she feel like she needs to help me or support me, help me be seen?
R:You are correct Racqele, your relationship would not be the same, but not without regret. She has not the time nor capacity to feed the energy to reach to you as you do to her. This is your gift. It is felt and in wanting to acknowledge is the want to *help. You have gifted her with being seen and cared for. On a consistent basis. You have helped, and you do not need praises of such.
April 17
ME: Are you there? Helooooo...
R: Yes maam, I am here, Now I'm really here.
M: What was I supposed to do today? Did I fail at my first day on my new timeline?
R: Let us review. We spent time discussing some things. No Clean, No exercise. But the plan for tomorrow is in place?
M: No not really. I downloaded a Couch to 5k app.
R: let us talk about what we need to shift. 1. Energy 2. Time. If you do not have one the other is challenging. let us start taking vitamins and documenting energy levels/ability to finish tasks. 5AM tomorrow. we will stretch, and take vitamins, and please plan on managing your calories tomorrow.
M: ok, anything else?
R: We must review foods and money to prepare for these large changes coming.
M: Ok, I will know more tomorrow about pay schedules and on call weekends.
R: there is something bothering you about your money plan.
M: I just worry that I am feeding into a system that I hate and creating more waste and just stuff for people to consume. without being truly truthful about the products. Idk how to reconcile that.
R; Hmmm, this is a good observation. It does not feel great to see others that succeed in the same way?
M: Idk, yes a little, but the ones I feel really great about are the ones that are really helping.
R: please inform me of which ones you have seen recently that feel enthusiastically good.
M: Non profit, articles that really help, researched articles.
R: You must practice the writing language before you get too wrapped up into the Capitalism of it. You have not made any money yet. After you have made 10000 dollars you can sit down and review the parts you like and don't like. Until then it is the action that holds the energy not the end result. You might write 1000 articles before you get a sale. So the topics and products do not really carry weight. Only in your mind. If you are not feeling well about it I would presume first that it is discomfort of action before principal. You have the goal and energy to help people. When you create the platform the help will be extended. First we build. You have Business, travel, spirit, home. Plus the dark and the light Investigate/ art/humor/mugs for creating things.
Onward we press.
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