I need to talk to my soul again. I need more guidance. I have questions. I need clarification. I fear making a wrong turn. There is no way for me to know the alternate path. I can only imagine what the different outcomes would be. This path is the only one I can see.
I climb off my couch. I step up onto the platform behind me. I walk up until I can see the vegetation I can see the narrow path. I start walking up the path. It is warm and sunny today. Normally it is cold and gloomy. I weave my way through the bushes that hang over the path. It is steep and I have to lean forward to keep my balance. I push dead branches out of the way as I make my way to the top of the path. I see the opening in the path as it opens up to a clearing at the edge of the lake . There is fine ground rocks and some old pieces of wood that have been pushed to the shore. The wood not the sand. The gravelly sand is there in a small clearing. The other part of the lake has grass all the way to the edge of the water. I look across the lake.
"Hello!" I call out. "Are you here?"
I look to the far edge of the lake where my soul took me last time. The land curves away to where I can no longer see the path. I focused my sights there and waited.
"I'm here!" I hear a voice call out.
I wait. She rounds the corner of the path across the lake. I look down at the waters edge. I imagine a boat there and slowly I see the air swirl around as a boat appears to be being built from dust in the air. When it is complete I step into the boat. I focus my sights on the opposite edge of the lake. The boat seems to just know that is where I want to go. It pushes through the water to other edge. I climb out of the boat. I remember that last time I had my mind interfere with what I was trying to hear and see. I focus on my surroundings. And I try to stay focused on my questions.
My soul runs up to me. "What are you doing here today? I wasn't expecting you today."
"I know I wasn't planning on visiting so soon. I need more answers."
She looks at me .. "OK what do you need?"
"My questions are: What am I training for? What do I need to focus on? When should I start? What kind of training am I doing? Physical, Mental, emotional, educational, vocational? There are too many options I need help to focus. What happens if I train in the wrong area?"
She laughs out loud. Inwardly, I have a little awkward feeling. I have much anxiety about these things. She looks at me. "You know you're me right?
" ...Well yes..technically." I reply
"Not technical...you are me. You choose to hide under your veil."
"Why do you not choose to hide?" I ask
"Because I chose freedom." She said.
"But you are me; did we not both choose freedom?" I asked; feeling perplexed.
"You chose earth. I chose a different...earth place. We chose."
"Is earth harder to take off the veil? " I ask
"...no it is harder for you than for me. Hmmm let me think of your questions for a moment. Don't add your thoughts to mine ... let me contemplate." She pauses and steps back. I am back in my living room for a moment chatting with my kids. I hear her start to talk so I jump back to the lake..
"Just as you answered yourself; you need to train physically. It will hep with mental focus. You need to train and practice living on earth. You cannot hide until its over. Write more think less."
"What is my goal?"....
"There is not a goal.. there is a pattern of evolving. There is people to connect to and paths to clear for others. Doors to open and soulful practice of healthy beliefs. To concrete the healthy patterns, so as to not need to repeat learning them again. You can set goals for yourself to help you, but not as an end result. You need to understand the patterns of growth are not set. Focus on reaching for a feeling and keeping it here. Write your new belief. and practice it. There are events that are going to occur and you will do best with training." She stops for a moment. "Your thoughts are merging with mine. give me a moment."
I pause and I lean down a dip my fingers in the water. It is cold and clear. There is grass growing on the edge of the lake. I can see small fish darting around in the grass in the water. I look up at my soul... she is prancing around in circles and humming a tune. I look down and feel the water on my fingers. so cold and refreshing. I look up and she walks up to me again.
"You need to focus on your feet. stay on the ground. talk to people. Set up a healthy pattern for your family. Reach for more earth knowledge. The soul already knows what you need to remember. Let me speak through you while you are on earth not just here. All the things that you dream of ...pick one... and bring it to life. Then the next one. Don't try all at once. Learn then use it. Don't try to learn all first. Did I mention you need to write more? You need to grow out from the veil. It hides you very well. Your light is blocked completely from here. I can only see you when you are here. You will understand when you pull it off what I mean. But If I tell you each step the path will change."
"I have another question: on the earth that you live are we with our soul mate?" I ask..
"No I am waiting for us to catch up to each other. That is a journey we take together. when we are both whole."
"Am I not whole now?" I ask. "I feel like a whole person..."
"Your soul is hiding.... whole ..not like fruit, but like all the cylinders on a car working; all the tires inflated evenly. All the rooms cleaned during spring... does this make sense?"
"Yes.... So the first step?"
"You will see... the mundane things save space for the rest of it." She answers.
"Do I start tomorrow?" I ask...as I feel my anxiety rise in my chest.
"You cannot grow a plant in a day.... Maybe you can plant the seed... or pull the weeds where you want to plant... maybe a tree or rocks are in the way and you need to remove them first.... Maybe if you write it down. Not goals..patterns of success...with limitless outcomes... with a leap that is freedom, with patterns after that, that you can't plan yet.."
"Do you have bad days on your earth?" I ask
"Yes...my freedom was hard fought, but the blanket on my earth is not as heavy as yours. It takes less time, energy, emotion and fight to gain freedom."
"How can 1 soul split? I ask.
"With out a long story... we chose to divide and conquer. Not all souls do. Some splinter. Earth has been hard. This time is better with a tether to my earth. I can't explain more yet."
"Do you travel in time? I ask
"Yes." She replies.
"Can you actually leave your earth?" I ask.
"Yes, but again my earth is not as heavy." She says.
"Will I be able to travel like that?"
"I cannot say... it depends. It is not a end goal nor a focus for our soul to master. As long as you do not hide behind it." She says.
I take a deep sigh. "OK."
"Do not leave here disappointed. You came for answers, they should be without expectation of answer. Go home and write the patterns down that you want to have, write down the belief you want and why. write down the emotions you want to feel, and what they are brought from. Write why you want to travel and where. Write it down until it is clear where you are in your gardening process. Think about how long it takes for a plant to grow. Draw a garden if you must. Plan out what you want it to look like. design it, then create it. And remember it is yours and your alone, but all of those you want in your life must have a place in, and space in your garden. You need to plan, and train."
I thank my soul for her/our /my help. I give her a hug and for a moment our soul is one. I try to feel the lightness and freedom as it is a part of me for a moment. I can feel the veil over me. I step back and thank her again.
She laughs. "Of course." "Be sure and let me know when you meet him. I know where he is on my earth. I am just waiting for you."
I laugh .."OK I will come tell you. Gosh will I know when I meet him?"
She laughs...not at first. But as you tether yourself to your memories they will resonate with him. HE will know. Don't let that go."
"OK sounds good" I reply.
I turn around and walk to the boat. I climb in and enjoy the cruise across the lake with the warm air blowing my hair. I climb out and start on the path down the away from the lake. I go quickly. I can see my couch at the bottom of the trail I step onto my couch and back to my living room.
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