A visit with my soul. A friend in nature

I went to see my soul last night. I have been to see her a few times. I meet her at a lake somewhere. I don't know how I get there, or how I know where to go. I was able to see the trail this time, that leads up to the lakes edge. I walk up the narrow dirt path. It is steep and is overgrown with tall bushes; their branches reaching across the path to each other. I stop at the top of the trail and look around. Both sides of the lake are lined with pink blooming trees. The water is dark and calm. For the first time it is not foggy. The sun is setting on the horizon and the sky is painted in red and orange. I look across the lake and I see my soul standing on the other side of the lake. I look down at the waters edge and see a small boat appear in front of me. I climb in the boat and it takes me across the lake with little effort. I climb out and walk up to my soul. As she stands there in front of me; I pause and say hi. We have not spoke before. Last time, we walked together, and before that I did not know how to cross the water.
"Hello, I'm so happy you are finally here!" She says very excitedly. I feel a little stunned to hear her voice.
 "I haven't heard you speak before" I said. ...
"I never had the opportunity" she replied.
 "Am I still on Earth?" I ask...My voice trailing off at the end...
She responds... "well...not your earth."
"I traveled to a different earth!?" I asked excitedly.
"You sound surprised" she says, "you have come here before though, so I thought you knew this was not your earth."
 I start to hear sounds around me, there is buzzing in my ears, zapping electrical sounds as what im looking at change and return. and I can see images flashing in the background, like a outdoor movie. they are loud, and the images surround me. I see everything around me start to change.
 "You need to tell your brain to stop" she says.
 In an instant the sounds and images are gone.
"What was that?" I asked.
"It was your mind trying to scare you. Walk with me" she says and starts to walk along the shore. I follow her.
"Do you have questions? What would you like to know?" she asks.
"Yes." I reply .."I do have a question.... What am I supposed to do? Why am I here? It is for my kids? Is there something specific I should be doing?" I start to hear the sounds around me again, like someone changing the stations on a radio and the volume is full blast. images are flashing around me. I feel myself slipping away....like I am being pulled into the flashing images. I am trying to focus on her through the images and sounds.
"FOCUS!" she says sternly and grabs my shoulders. The images are gone instantly.
"I am sorry" I tell her.."I am trying to stay focused but I think I am falling asleep at home."
"Come with me" she says "I want to show you something." We walk around the bend that follows the waters edge. I have never seen this part of the lake before. We are now facing the setting sun. I can feel the warmth of the last of the suns rays on my cheeks. I can see past the lake.  I look farther...I see what looks like a valley. I turn to her and ask what that is, where that is. She says that is her home in the future.
 She turns and faces me..."you need to start training" she tells me. "Training?" I ask.... "what kind of training?"
 "You need to be ready for the fight." she says. "Start now and you will be ready."
 "Like a physical fight?" I ask. I can feel nervousness start to rise in my throat and my cheeks. She laughs.
 "This I cannot say. There is more I would like to tell you" she says. The sounds come back, they are loud buzzing sounds, I can't hear her. I can tell she is still talking. Images of other worlds and other thoughts start to flash in front of me. I try to focus on what she is saying but I can't hear her. she continues to speak.. I can make out a few of the words..Search.... tomorrow..... you will find it. I turn and look back to where we had walked from...the sounds and flashes still there. I can't get them to stop. I need to go home. I blink and I am back around the bend. I can see the boat. I stare at it for a second and I am instantly in the boat that I had looked at. I look at the shore where I started and I am instantly there. I start walking down the path away from the lake. I can't see the bottom of the trail. The sounds are gone, the images are gone. I can feel my tiredness covering me like a blanket. I can feel my self walking closer to me falling asleep.

New job!

I am starting a new job on the 1st of February! Super exciting...It is actually currently a volunteer position. I have been asked to write content for a blog about crime labs. Stats, productivity, state run vs private, wages, accreditation, funding.... pretty much anything about a lab that  I can think of. They want me to start from scratch with a website and blog name. I will spend the first few days setting everything up on the back end before I start writing. I have to create a schedule to show how often I will post and how much time I will be putting in, what platforms I will share the content on, and what my goals are for the 3-6-12 month marks are for the website. Wish me luck on this new adventure! Any suggestions on names of the blog or website would be appreciated. Thanks!!

Week 1 is here!  This week is planning. The website name is www.crimelabinfo.com
I will post content weekly and each weeks post will have at least 1 affiliate permalink in it. During the first 3 months I will be building content. I really am not sure what the expectation for this type of content to be in high demand is. This will focus on a pretty specific demographic. I would like to have a few websites that sell crime lab supplies linked to the site within the 3 month period.
3-6 months I would like to have a few research papers posted. Not as frequent posting, but more content.
6-12 months this should have enough content to be clicked into regularly. and regular weekly postings.

My goal is to spend about 4-5 hours a week on this. Some in research, some on learning curve, some on actual website maintenance.
I do not know what day I will post each week yet. TBT
I'm not sure why I don't want to project any income. Silly me. 0-3 months let's aim for 100-500 dollars 3-6 months 500-5000, 6-12 months let's aim for a steady stream with an average of 2500 a month.

Night Lights

I am going to try an experiment... I often times tune in to things when I am driving or writing. So I am going to try writing, and on Saturday I will try it driving...Safely of course.


Today I am focusing on #MybestfriendIhaventmetyet I know it is not the right time to meet him, but I have faith he is out there. I don't know where, but that is OK too..


I start to rise up from my room up into the sky..I start to question what exactly I'm looking for. Am I looking for someone? Am I looking for a light that I feel good about? I float higher in the sky. Is he here in the city with me? Is he far away? I turn around in circles looking around. I see a light ...as I float to it...the energy is not comforting. I float past it and climb higher. I wonder if he is sleeping? Does his soul know mine is looking? Is his looking for mine? What will his soul do if he is looking for me? what will I say?
I can see all of Lake Tahoe, the mountains and the sea to west in the distance.  I stop and scan the ground. I can see a few lights floating above the ground swirling around their home. I look around some more. Will his soul be out here looking for mine?
 I rise higher into the sky. The city lights are gone, and the mountains look like bumps on the ground. I look out on the horizon. Not as many souls are floating around. Some are zooming around, some are like shooting stars. They can only be seen for a moment. 
I know if he is here, he will be doing the same thing I am...searching. I start to fly East as I look for the familiar light. It has been many lifetimes since we have danced in the beam of each others light. I see a light in the distance that shines brighter than others. I rush towards this orb of shining light. I stop in front of the light. I can see the image of who the soul belongs to. He looks at me bewildered and gives me a hug. I know at this moment he is just a friendly soul. I climb higher into the sky.
 The curve of the earth is now a complete crescent. I can see the light of the sun peeking on the horizon. I look around and there he is. The familiar glow that only his soul can produce. I fly to him, our souls swirl around each other as we become brighter together. We dance in the light of the sun on the horizon. We soared up higher and circled the world. We flew past the heat of the sun and back to the dark of the night.


I hear my alarm start to buzz .. in an instant I'm back in my room reaching for my alarm. I hit the snooze button and close my eyes again. I fly back up the edge of the sky and search for him. I stop and scan the sky. I cant find him anywhere. Searching for his light, and his comfort. The moment was so fleeting and quick. I let myself fall back to earth, no longer feeling the want to fly.

I feel the wind howling around me as I continue to fall. I feel the earth getting closer to me, I can feel my heart start to beat again. I take a deep breath and my alarm buzzes again. Back in my room again. I sit up in bed, and think to myself...When will I see him and feel him again. Will we meet face to face or only on the astral plane? We can always dance in the the light of the night, and dance in our dreams.

A Visit to My Soul

I went to see my soul last night. I hadn't been up there for awhile. I guess along the way I figured out how to plant some trees on my side of the water. She did too. They are all in bloom. The pink cherry blossoms adding color to the the trees and the ground around them. Like a soft pink circle of light. I brought a boat with me this time. I had tried to build a bridge to my soul before. I wasn't successful. I realize now there are many ways to get across the water. I climb in the boat and paddle to the shore where my soul is standing. My soul turns to light and swirls around me as I walk along this distant shore. I try to memorize the feeling of walking in the light of my soul. It is not as different as I had thought it would be. I look across the shore to where I started. The trees I planted are still small. I need to visit more often to cultivate them. I look at the water in hopes that instead of ripples in the water I would see words floating by. I see my reflection in the water. I look the same, but the discontent is not. I feel loved from within.
The sun starts to set behind the fog and the mist. The grey starts to fade to darkness. I climb in the boat, wondering if my soul will just stay with me or if she will stay on the distant shore. I start to paddle across the water. I close my eyes for a moment. I don't want to know if the light is still around me or not. I know I need to figure out why she stays on the other side of the water. I had hoped this was the answer. The trees planted, the boat across the water, the walk together on the other side of the shore.
I reach the shore and feel the boat bump the shore. I open my eyes and look back across the water. My soul was dancing along the shore. I still feel the comfort from within. I too dance among the small trees. I stop at each tree and tend to it. I clear the weeds from around the roots. It is dark now.  I notice I still have light to light my path. It shines from around me. I smile to myself as I walk down the path to my world.

The Power

I recently came to an epiphany. A paused moment in time, a second of clarity where I can see everything behind me and in front of me. I need to own the power that I had before. Own it, not relive it. Own it, not redo it. Own it, not accept at face value. I dont want to put this power back on, like an old coat that smells of mold and moth balls. I need to own it, like a vase that you retrieve from the pawn shop. But this time you actually use it to put flowers in; instead of using it as a puke bucket. I need to own the power that I had before. Before I felt used and cheapened. Before I gave away my power because I didn't know I was giving it away. I didn't even know it was something to have. It was an unbridled power that was seeming to harm myself and other people. I was stumbling through time, carelessly abusing what I had to offer. I didn't understand the wounds I was carving, or how I was changing my own timeline. I didnt understand how I was creating the walls I was building. I allowed myself to become broken.  I couldn't rid myself of this power. I convinced myself that this power that I had would be enough to convince someone of the beauty of my soul. And the men that loved this power would eventually love the rest of me. I was wrong. This took me a long time to learn. I tried to shed the power, I ignored it, refused to use it, pretended that it didn't exist. I tried to believe that if the power was no longer there and all that was left was my soul, that the man I had invested my time in would fall in love with me. I was wrong. I know things unfolded for reasons beyond the simplicity of power or no power.

I know now that I need my power. I need to learn to control it and harness it. I need to cultivate the power within myself. I need to have faith that  I will see through the men that simply want the power and nothing else I have to offer.

Blind Date .... Dry run

I went on a blind date with my self tonight. It was an eye opener. First and for most I had to work late, so the date was 2 1/2 hours later than planned. I automatically made the assumption  that the other person would instantly no longer be interested. Which I guess I really do not know. So I got home from work to change my clothes and I instantly started to talk myself out of going. Too tired , nothing to wear. (I was going to Starbucks...alone) Then I go in the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I hear the voice saying you look awful, no one is going to want to hang out with you. I look like a mess. I have pimples, my hair is gray, and brown, and blond. Super unattractive. If the voice is this loud going somewhere alone, I cant imagine how loud it would be if  I was actually meeting a stranger. I almost convinced myself I wasn't worth my own time. That is crazy. As I sit and reflect on the evening, I can see that my expectations of myself in this type of situation is unreasonable. I feel like I should magically turn into someone else that this person I've never met will like. I'm caught between not wanting someone to only want to be with me for what I can offer them physically, and still wanting them to find me attractive. As if the idea that someone finding me attractive means they will not see the beauty of my soul.

Time Traveller

One of the biggest things that happened in 2018 was that I learned how to time travel. I know it sounds crazy, and I'm not that good at it yet....lol.

I was running at the park one evening after work, and there was someone else there running too. The person stopped me after we had passed each other a few times. I really thought the person was crazy at first. They asked if I remembered who they were....they said their name as if I would know it. I was drawing a blank...lol I was thinking...um ...crazy person 😂
The person became somewhat annoyed and asked if they could just run in the same direction as me so we wouldn't keep crossing paths. I needed to do 2 more laps so I agreed...lol
As we were running, the person brushed up against my arm and we were instantly in a different time. It was crazy. I kinda freaked out a little bit, but it was like putting on an old pair of jeans, or like riding a bike. I realized that I had already been a time Traveller, but I had forgotten about this ability.

I can travel through time😂 what an incredible gift.